Grocery store is not code for ‘wear sweatpants’

My rants against the slobbification of America are legendary. Flip flops are for the beach. Fleece pants are for being in your house with a cold. Oversized cartoon tee shirts are for never. see? Buying Halloween swag and some milk while not looking like I live in a van. Blouse, Ella Moss, velvet blazer I’ve…

Reward yourself for Adulting

You know those stickers kids get for doing the most basic shit? You brushed your teeth! Way to go for making it through a whole day without biting anyone!!! Well you deserve some props too.  Because being an adult is 95% doing things you don’t want to do and that no one notices or cares. Proving again…

Chaos and the art of not tidying up

Once you don’t have an adult to tell you to clean your room, what happens?  Well, if you’re a hot mess, your closet turns into a knee-deep pile of sadness. I give you, Exhibit A: I’m well aware that I need to stop being a slob. “Spend five minutes every night hanging things back up.”…

I guess we’re grownups now.

In my mind, I am 19 years old.  Forever.  Smart, beautiful, effortlessly thin.  Decisions are limited to: what should I wear (answer: tube top)?  Should I make out with that bartender (answer: no but you will)?  Will a degree in Medieval History open a ton of doors (answer: hysterical laughter)?   Photographs from college preserve 19…