It’s not Gucci! But still so happy!

One of the great tragedies of the modern world is that people with money frequently have terrible taste (see: all the RHW of wherever, Karsashians, 90% of Florida).  Those of us who are poor and also fancy have to work harder but maybe that extra work and pluck builds character or some crap like that….

Actual adult shit

Has it been like 9 months since I posted? Where did time go? Why am I so busy? Well, between turning 40, planning endless birthday / HOA/ PTA/ dinner party events, shuttling my children hither and yon, gaining and losing the same 10 lbs over and over and a nice casual homicide trial…. mama has…

I’m so sorry.

I made James Joyce out of Rice Krispie treats. He didn’t deserve this.

bonkers shoe party!

So…. Katy Perry is now selling shoes at Nordstrom.   Please send money to my Kickstarter so I can GET ALL THE SHOES.  If she will only sell the sparkler-bra I will have the perfect outfit for closing argument on my homicide trial.

When life gives you lemons get some vodka

I’ve had a bitch of a week at work and finally got to the gym this morning (Yea!) and when I got to the gym realized I had left my work clothes at home (Boo!) and had only a sports bra and leggings.  To wear to court (Fuck!).   Luckily Target opens at 8am so…

Procrastinating via Googlemaps

I am so anxious about work that I was up at 3am fussing over it. But as soon as I get to the office, the desire, no, NEED to look at maps of Lake Bikal in Siberia becomes totally more important.  BTW Lake Bikal is the deepest and largest freshwater lake in the world and…

2017 is FINALLY over

  Oh boy, 2017 was a real delight. The world didn’t end but did get noticeably shittier. I have gained 5 lbs since Thanksgiving.  My house is a mess.  But we’re all still alive-ish and I got a new kitchen and like 100 new pairs of shoes this year so could be worse?  I am wearing…

WTF: the BEST pants

Girl:  Hey, do you guys have some pants that make me look like I had my legs chopped off? Selfridges:  Oh yea, these should do it.  We patterned them off of the flappy ends of cheap suits. Me:  WHY WHY WHY  

mom’s vacation

A Mom on vacation is still a Mom. Wearing multiple layers and cooking in Iceland. The sun has already gone down at 4pm– and it didn’t come up until 10am. Brrrrr. I’m not making puffin, if you’re wondering….

ESPIRT

What was the best store in the early 90’s? Where you could get rad tote bags, floral dresses, and pre-shredded tee-shirts- and where everything said ‘ESPIRT.” The last one closed near me in high school but I still have fond memories. And then, as if conjured by the elves said to inhabit the area, there…

Grocery store is not code for ‘wear sweatpants’

My rants against the slobbification of America are legendary. Flip flops are for the beach. Fleece pants are for being in your house with a cold. Oversized cartoon tee shirts are for never. see? Buying Halloween swag and some milk while not looking like I live in a van. Blouse, Ella Moss, velvet blazer I’ve…