Ootd: target run 

  Everyone, even mega-celebrities like myself (chortle) need a place where you can get lemon extract, hair dye, and $200 of WTF random objects. Seriously, what did I just buy? Style tip:  I refuse to let a closet full of open-toe shoes lie dormant for 5 months.  Wear some opaque tights with those bad boys.  …

I am obsolete– Racked.com review

During a morning of children/ cleaning avoidance, I found a website that is basically what I want my own site to be, but it’s like a million times better.  I probably shouldn’t advertise that.  However, my ethical duty as a fashion blogger requires me to tell you to go to Racked.com immediately. There’s shopping tips,…

Ootd: a little boob

I was trying to go for a 1970’s Town and Country vibe.  The photobombing 7 yr old  adds a certain”realness.”  I also realized after I got to work that you can totally see my boobs. Generally I am pro-boob.  In court, not as much.      BThe skirt is METALLIC.

Ootd:  kitchen cat 

After a delightful day of Lawyer, I get to do Mom.  I want to do Netflix.  Luckily this badass velvet leopard dress is comfy enough for vigorous stirring.

Ootd: Apocalypse Soonish

What does one wear while waiting for the end of the world?  Ideally I’d wear a ball gown and drink but I had to go Adult so we settled on a Tracy Reese dress w pockets and a silk pinstriped blouse.  Probably still going to drink.

Omfg Vogue

Screw humble brags.  I’m in muthafuckin Vogue.  My ootd was picked by editors (of Vogue!!!) as one of best suits. Click to see-– scroll to #suiting_vogue and I’m really in there.  Pinch me. I’ve always loved the creativity and self-expression of fashion.  One day I’ll tell you all about my short, hilarious, brutal time working in…

Pharmacy cleansing oil 😾

Given my Boulder childhood and general Save the Pandas feelings, not surprising that I like natural beauty products (Botox is natural so shut up).  When my beloved cleanser was discontinued I went in search of a new one.   Well, this is not it.  It works okay but smells EXACTLY like wasabi peas.  I can’t. 

The art of shopping at Forever 21 (when you are totally not 21)

The greatest myth about Forever 21 is that it’s target audience is 21 year old’s.  The clothes are really geared towards middle schoolers, who have limited budgets, questionable taste, and 4% body fat. So, when a certain old lady goes wandering in there, you think, what the fuck? I am about 20 years too old…

Tipsy cooking: Sadness Snacks 

When I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself, I like to bake.  This particular recipe was historically “Santa Snacks” but was renamed “Sadness Snacks” because I can’t only make these during the holidays (madness) but also because they are easy to make even when so depressed I want to die.  When my husband comes home and…

Reward yourself for Adulting

You know those stickers kids get for doing the most basic shit? You brushed your teeth! Way to go for making it through a whole day without biting anyone!!! Well you deserve some props too.  Because being an adult is 95% doing things you don’t want to do and that no one notices or cares. Proving again…

Ootd: take that Friday

Obviously this shirt is not going to court with me, but it sums shit up pretty well.  Props to my girl Paige Parker for this Etsy treasure.  I will now index some police reports.  Fuck off indeed.