I know FW 2016 shows were like, a million years ago but I still think fondly upon Dolce & Gabbana’s fairytale romp which proved that minimalism is the worst. More is more! If you need a reminder of why you should wear more fringe, patterns, metallics, buckles and bows (preferably all at the same time) check out…
Ootd: I’m not sweating. It’s Glow.
Dude, its fucking hot. So hot. Wearing hilarious sparkle jacket to distract from sweaty red face. The cold beer compress is also super helpful.
Ootd: summer of love
This ‘I live on a communal farm in NoCal circa 1974’ dress is an absolute summer favorite. A little sweet, a little cool, but better than either sweet or cool alone. Vintage. No brand. The best.
Ootd: sideboob
Morning mimosa! This is one of the few dresses I can’t wear to work — like, ever– so anytime I can wear this sideboob revealing dress, I go for it. Given the smallness of my boobs, it’s not too vulgar for brunch. And if it is, fuck it.
Ootd: drunken denim
Well folks, it’s the freakin weekend and I am still child free thanks to my husband’s insane road trip with the little monsters. Currently too blubbery for my jeans but who cares? A denim dress is even better.
Ootd: Mama’s got a new baby
Yes, the birth of my children was great, but getting this sweet ass MBMJ bad for under $150 (Nordstrom Rack, org. $550) is really almost as good. And I don’t need to feed or diaper the bag….
Ootd: SisterWife Style
All-white outfits are weird. They always seem to have a specific “job” like a bridal gown or tennis or vestal virgin sacrifice. But it’s also kinda refreshing to go white– no pattern, no color. Simplicity. Except I really hate simplicity so I added a giant metal necklace, red lips, and some complicated shoes.
Ootd: advanced lawn care
After a decade of successful avoidance, the husband has forced me to learn to mow. Maxi dress probably not best choice but I’m not wearing some hideous Capri dockers even if this ends in loosing a foot.
OOTD: Not even donuts
Usually donuts and some fun mixed prints cheer me up. Not today friends, not today. I’m included this terrible photo of myself to capture the desolation.
Ootd: Menswear for Prissy Girls?
Suit vests have a bad Nancy Grace vibe. And honestly when I try to adopt menswear trends I look about as hot as Nancy Grace. I ‘found’ this weird vest in my closet I wondered if I could do something less, um, Nancy Grace with it. The sheer pink blouse pretties…
Ootd: Dankeschön Nordstrom Rack!
While avoiding my parenting and household duties this past weekend, I went to Nordstrom Rack for Clear the Rack (25% off all clearance items!) After flipping through tons of crappy poly blouses and indescribably ugly sweaters, I found…. a size 8 Marc Jacobs silk dress $1200 marked down to $200 and possibly– dare I hope?– on clearance. The…
Ootd: Whoooo’s wearing age-inappropriate owl socks?
Ugh. Those three-day weekends. To help perk up, wearing sweet owl socks. I have to go to the effing jail so wearing a flesh obscuring sweater. Take that Tuesday! Socks, Kate Spade; heels, Michael Kors; dress, vintage; sweater, J. Crew.
the reluctant adult 