Ootd: target run 

  Everyone, even mega-celebrities like myself (chortle) need a place where you can get lemon extract, hair dye, and $200 of WTF random objects. Seriously, what did I just buy? Style tip:  I refuse to let a closet full of open-toe shoes lie dormant for 5 months.  Wear some opaque tights with those bad boys.  …

I am obsolete– Racked.com review

During a morning of children/ cleaning avoidance, I found a website that is basically what I want my own site to be, but it’s like a million times better.  I probably shouldn’t advertise that.  However, my ethical duty as a fashion blogger requires me to tell you to go to Racked.com immediately. There’s shopping tips,…

Ootd: a little boob

I was trying to go for a 1970’s Town and Country vibe.  The photobombing 7 yr old  adds a certain”realness.”  I also realized after I got to work that you can totally see my boobs. Generally I am pro-boob.  In court, not as much.      BThe skirt is METALLIC.

Omfg Vogue

Screw humble brags.  I’m in muthafuckin Vogue.  My ootd was picked by editors (of Vogue!!!) as one of best suits. Click to see-– scroll to #suiting_vogue and I’m really in there.  Pinch me. I’ve always loved the creativity and self-expression of fashion.  One day I’ll tell you all about my short, hilarious, brutal time working in…

Ootd: places to go

Dude, August is the worst.  So hot. So busy.  But September is here! And tights!  Although still super busy and out the door.

The meowiest dress from FW 2016, now at Nordstrom….

I know FW 2016 shows were like, a million years ago  but I still think fondly upon Dolce & Gabbana’s fairytale romp which proved that minimalism is the worst.  More is more! If you need a reminder of why you should wear more fringe, patterns, metallics, buckles and bows (preferably all at the same time) check out…

Ootd:  SisterWife Style

All-white outfits are weird.  They always seem to have a specific “job” like a bridal gown or tennis or vestal virgin sacrifice. But it’s also kinda refreshing to go white– no pattern, no color.  Simplicity.  Except I really hate simplicity so I added a giant metal necklace, red lips, and some complicated shoes.      

Ootd: Menswear for Prissy Girls? 

Suit vests have a bad Nancy Grace vibe. And honestly when I try to adopt menswear trends I look about as hot as Nancy Grace.  I ‘found’ this weird vest in my closet I wondered if I could do something less, um, Nancy Grace with it.         The sheer pink blouse pretties…

Ootd:  Dankeschön Nordstrom Rack! 

While avoiding my parenting and household duties this past weekend, I went to Nordstrom Rack for Clear the Rack (25% off all clearance items!)  After flipping through tons of crappy poly blouses and indescribably ugly sweaters, I found…. a size 8 Marc Jacobs silk dress $1200 marked down to $200 and possibly– dare I hope?– on clearance.  The…

Ootd:  Whoooo’s wearing age-inappropriate owl socks?

Ugh.  Those three-day weekends.  To help perk up, wearing sweet owl socks.  I have to go to the effing jail so wearing a flesh obscuring sweater. Take that Tuesday! Socks, Kate Spade; heels, Michael Kors; dress, vintage; sweater, J. Crew.

Ootd : America & Shit

While my feelings towards America run from tepid hope to resigned disgust, I do appreciate those who fight to keep our ridiculous world going. So to celebrate I get drunk and wear a semi-themed outfit right? Right…..