Online shopping for maximum badassery at TheRealReal 

Somewhere in Moscow, the beautiful girlfriend of an Oligarch sits upon a pile of designer shoes like Smaug the dragon.  After wearing them once, she is bored and they are last season so wearing them would be очень плохо.   She has her maid send them off to TheRealReal, an online consignment wonderland where un-rich girls can buy almost brand new goodies.  Sometimes the item is totally brand new.  Insanity!!!

Prices range from $6000 for an Hermes bag (still a deal but a little much for me) to $45 for a pair of Prada pumps that touched the ground for two minutes between the towncar and the restaurant.  A pair of handmade Italian shoes, even a used pair, is vastly superior to a brand new lame shoe from 9West.  They’re better looking, hold up better, and are more comfortable.  Same goes for clothes.  Yes, Dolce & Gabanna makes a better dress than H&M, and at TheRealReal, you can get it for almost the same price.

The best way to shop TheRealReal is to sign up for emails and then lay in wait for their frequent 40% off sales– yes, that’s 40% off the already silly cheap prices.  I’ve bought a few things that didn’t fit, and you can’t return it, but the vast majority of purchases have been squeal-worthy and make up for the mistakes.

It’s time to clear out your crappy stuff and upgrade.  But on a budget.  Because you are not dating the head of a petroleum conglomerate (if you are, please send me your cast-offs, size 6 dress).

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